question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
