She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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