For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I have feelings that need drinking.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
