Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It was confusing and full of hummus
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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