i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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