The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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