What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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