You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
