This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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