I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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