it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i came on her dog
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
