so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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