Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
