As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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