Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize