I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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