you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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