He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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