Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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