are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
