Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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