Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It's blow job season.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
