Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I understand Curling. That high.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
