i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
