I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
it's great music for shaving your balls
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
