and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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