Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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