i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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