Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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