I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
