I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
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