It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
