me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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