There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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