Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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