I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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