Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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