stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
