oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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