my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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