i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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