"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
