Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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