I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
