All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
