I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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