i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
This house was built for laser tag.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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