They should really pass out barf bags in church
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
