I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
