If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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