State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
