Apparently you make a good broom.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm at about main and main street
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
