I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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