i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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