Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
