I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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