i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
