how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
