Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
