you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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