carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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