just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
