Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
