dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
