i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
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