I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize